1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
