I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
These tits shall not be calmed
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
So. Much. Porn.
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