Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
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