Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Randomize
