just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
