it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
