she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
