A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Randomize
