ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
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