what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
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Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
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SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
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