So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
