Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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