What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Randomize
