He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Randomize
