Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
