Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Randomize
