She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
