I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
