so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
