We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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