it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I just blew my weed a kiss
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
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