he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
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