I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
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