i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
