what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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