Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize