Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
