I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Randomize
