Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Randomize
