where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Are my feet made of real feet?
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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