I seem to have left my pride at pride
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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