oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
