im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
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