my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize