Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
