Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
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