I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
