onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
