i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
did i just pee glitter
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
