And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
