i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Randomize
