Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I want you more than these girls want KFC
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize
