and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
