is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
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