i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
