hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
