that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Randomize
