who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize