I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
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