I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
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