if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
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whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
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Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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