I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Randomize
