But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
