No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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