My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
