bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
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