I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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