he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
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he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
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