Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
We were destined to go to rehab together
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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