Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
