sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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