Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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