you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
So much Jack, so little girl.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Randomize
