They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Randomize