how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
