Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
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