It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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