The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
Randomize
