I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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